there’s a thunder in our hearts, baby.

Greetings and salutations.

There is one week and three days left until this lady will be home for Thanksgiving Break. I’m all ready for this semester to be over, though.

I have rehearsal tonight for my Review scene at 9 o’clock, followed by rehearsal for my children’s story scene at 10 o’clock. I have a feeling that tonight is going to be a long night, and I’m not exactly a night owl. I’ve been such a busy bee lately that I feel like it’s time for some serious R&R.

One of the main reason why I love Ithaca is because of their apple season. Seeing as how the season is wrapping up quickly, I was surprised to find these beautiful gems in the produce bin when I went to Wegman’s last night.

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Beautiful Honeycrisps! I munched on one of these before Script Analysis, and it fueled me through that class and a quick 30 minutes on the elliptical. I may just have to run back down to the grocery store to try and get more before they’re out of season! Wegman’s has had a sale on them for a month now ( 99 cents a pound!).

Voice and Movement, Scene Study, and Theatre History bright and early tomorrow from 8-1. Joy of joy, dream of dreams!

Always,

Mary Jane.

Song of the day: Placebo – Running Up That Hill

my story.

Hello there, beauts.

My name is Meredith Jane Rogers, preferably Mary Jane though, and today, i’m stepping into the new and exciting world of blogging.

Why blogging, though? Well, I love to write and express myself as openly as possible. After being an avid blog reader for quite some time now, I figured that there is no better place to do so than in the food blogging community. Also, I love food. That’s a pretty generic answer, but this lady likes to speak the truth. So, let’s combine the best of all my worlds, shall we?

ONWARDS!

Let me properly introduce myself, including the bells and whistles and the gritty details. I’m currently a 19 year old, sophomore Acting major at Ithaca College, in Ithaca, NY. In August of 2010, I am transferring to the Culinary Institute of America for an Associates Degree in Baking and Pastry. Odd transition, I know. Ever since I was a little girl, food and I have had an relationship with eachother, in one way or another. Until the age of 16, I never paid attention or even really cared about what went into my mouth. I ate whatever I wanted and as much of it as I wanted, and as my appetite got bigger… well, so did my waist.

Being 5’9, I carried my weigth well, but when I hit 200 pounds at the end of my sophomore year of highschool , I knew that enough was enough. I cut soda, candy, and fried foods from my diet, and began running a mile every single night. I was immediately surprised in how fast the weight seemed to drop right off of me. In the course of one summer, I dropped to 165 as I entered my junior year of high school. The amount of compliments that I recieved from classmates (and even teachers) was enough to fuel me to continue all my hard work. Not once did I deprive myself of anything that I wanted, but if I ‘splurged’, I jogged an extra mile that night. Once the holidays rolled around, and all that yummy, scrumptious food was pushed at me, I found myself at 175 and frustrated that I let all my hard work go down the drain. Determined to lose that ten pounds, and maybe even more, I began to watch what I ate closely, being careful not to eat too many ‘empty calories’, like sweets and unecessary snacks.

The more results I saw, and the more compliments I recieved pushed me to keep going further. ‘If I look this good now, how great will I look when I lose those ten extra pounds I have on my hips?’ I thought. Ten pounds were lost, but I could still see another ten. And another ten. And another ten. I kept restricting my calories, my fat intake, my carb intake until one day, I passed out in gym class during my senior year of high school. I got on the scale only to find that I weighed only 120 pounds. My parents gasped at that number, but inside, I was seething. To me, that number was unacceptable. I was supposed to weight 115. So the restriction continued, along with the lies that I told to everyone to make it seem like I was fine. I kept my weight at 115 all through out my senior year and during my summer before college. I’ll never forget the day that my parents moved me into my dorm for the first time. My parents both broke down into tears because they were terrified of what would happen when they left.

In college, I was faced with a new sense of freedom that I never felt before. There was no one to watch what I ate, no one to judge me, no one to tell me what to do. In the first month of school, I dropped to 98 pounds. Size 0 pants hung off of me. I couldn’t keep warm, even though I was in swelteringly hot acting studios all day. Everyone around me was so concerned, but I told them “fast metabolism”. I always made sure to eat in front of people, but never was it anything substancial. It was always a plate of lettuce, an apple, maybe a couple carrots, but it was to convince people that I didn’t have a problem. I was hiding in plain view.

My mom came up to visit me on September 27, 2008, and the minute she laid eyes on me, she cried. When I asked her what was wrong, she said “Meredith, you’re dying before my very eyes”. On October 1, 2008, I took medical leave from Ithaca College and went to treatment at the Sol Stone Center in Elmira, NY. I was 94 pounds… and still 5’9. To this day, it was the most difficult experience I’ve ever had to make. My experience at Sol Stone was life changing, and when I left on December 3, 2008, I was 120 pounds and had the knowledge and the strength to fight. I went back to school in January, and have continued to gain ever since. I am here now at 150 pounds and healthy. Life has never felt so amazing. I still struggle. I struggle every day with this monster, but now, I am able to recognize those irrational thoughts and cast them aside.

I am not surviving - I am living.

LET’S SEE SOME PICTURES, SHALL WE?!

 

song of the day: Oh, Hello – Circa Survive.

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